how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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