he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
