i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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