Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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