Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize