dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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