Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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