did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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