i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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