We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't deserve a penis
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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