Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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