he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
