Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
