I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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