Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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