What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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