she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
