I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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