Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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