Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Randomize
