i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
