the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
