Your tits are I can't wait for
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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