i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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