Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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