I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
