I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
