How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
