mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
