A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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