Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize