If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
