Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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