i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
