Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You are a genius and a whore.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
