Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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