I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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