He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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