i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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