hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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