my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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