i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
