Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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