You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
