Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you traded sex for a burrito?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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