I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
