good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
