This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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