I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize