How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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