Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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