do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
