Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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