is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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