saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
