NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
