Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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